


Only River in the Forest

by Pellaaearien



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (but not forever), (including River), Canon Compliant River Song, Canonical Character Death, Dimension-Hopping Rose Tyler, Episode AU: s04e08-09 Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Happy Ending for Everyone, Married The Doctor/Rose Tyler, Reunions, Rewrite, River Song Dies, Telepathic Bond, Temporary Character Death, The Doctor & River Song Aren't Married, Timey-Wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28365531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pellaaearien/pseuds/Pellaaearien
Summary: At Canary Wharf, Rose was rescued from falling into the Void and brought to Pete's World before it was sealed off. The Doctor waited for their telepathic marriage bond to break — it never did. Still being able to share their thoughts and feelings, despite being separated, was an unexpected, bittersweet blessing for the couple.Now, three years later, the Doctor has been called to the Library via an anonymous message. Time is in flux. Rose still hasn't managed to find her way back to him, and there's a mysterious archaeologist who seems to know more about him than she should. Who is River Song to him, and why does she think she's married to someone who already has a wife?
Relationships: Lee McAvoy/Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 57
Kudos: 196
Collections: Don't Wanna Get Rid Of You





	1. Silence in the Library

**Author's Note:**

> All right, folks, this is a weird one. Three or four years ago now, I had a wacky idea: what if Rose was able to see the way River treated the Doctor at the Library? I imagined she would have quite a few things to say (in case it isn't obvious, I am NOT a fan of the way Moffat wrote River and the Doctor's relationship). 
> 
> So mind the tags! There's quite a bit of wibbly-wobbly ahead. Canon River is here but do not look for her to get together with the Doctor at any point. Rose and the Doctor are still separated but their telepathic bond is unbroken. I also wanted River to get a better ending (I really don't hate River, please don't think that, I just hate the way Moffat wrote her) and I think I was able to give her one in this story.

_You should tell Donna the real reason you're at the Library, Doctor._

_I know, but I just don't like it. The Face of Boe is one thing, but this…_

Rose didn't like it much either. Anonymous messages sent to her husband on the psychic paper, signed with a kiss? It rankled, especially with her being trapped in a parallel world. It was just good she could feel the Doctor's absolute conviction and dedication to her through their bond. She would never insult him by doubting. Occasionally people got flirty with the Doctor. He was a fit-looking bloke — it was somewhat inevitable. None of them had the capacity to send him messages on the psychic paper though.

 _Maybe it_ is _Jack?_ she mused, repeating their favourite theory.

 _Maybe._ The Doctor’s sounded dubious and Rose couldn't blame him. The idea that Jack would pull the same move as the Face of Boe had was plausible but unlikely, even if the two beings were potentially one and the same.

 _Be careful, love._ This was the worst part: being forced to watch from afar as her husband faced down the dangers of the universe, sharing his pain and fear but unable to keep it from him in the first place.

 _I always am,_ he answered, and in the real world Rose smiled ruefully.

 _That's why I always worry,_ she said.

Mere minutes later her apprehension was proved correct when the Doctor was running from the darkness in the Library.

~oOo~

“Hello, Sweetie.”

With those two words, the Doctor felt his entire world shift. Timelines were running wild, and he wondered if that was the reason for his summons to the Library.

Before his arrival, he’d had a wife who was separated from him by dimensional walls; walls which, for reasons as yet unknown, had failed to sever their telepathic marriage bond. Rose was trying to get back to him via a project from her universe’s Torchwood, a dimension cannon. Aside from a very, _very_ near miss during the Year That Never Was that burned his hearts with regret even now, the project had hitherto been unsuccessful.

Those things were still true, but now he was confronted with this woman, this _archaeologist_ , who treated him with such familiarity. The Doctor was utterly bewildered, a state not helped by the building headache brought on by Rose’s ire.

“Pretty Boy, with me, I said,” River repeated, in a tone that sounded accustomed to being obeyed.

“Oh, _I’m_ Pretty Boy?” the Doctor asked Donna, genuinely confused. His best mate rolled her eyes at him in real life as Rose sent him the telepathic equivalent.

“Yes,” Donna answered. “Ooh, that came out a bit quick.”

“Pretty?” he confirmed, not wanting to ask for clarification on the point that really bothered him, which was River’s casual claim of such.

Donna shrugged, holding no opinion on the matter, but Rose immediately began to hiss in his head.

_Drop dead sexy is what you are, love._

_Yup, that’s more what I was going for._ He kept his tone one of light teasing and was rewarded.

_Oi, if you set that up just so I would stoke your ego…_

_I won’t make a habit of it,_ he promised with a cheeky wink, but made his way over to where River held forth at one of the reading tables. It was time to find out more about this mysterious woman and her connection to him.

Despite all but ordering him to attend her, she didn’t look up immediately as he approached, instead unpacking her rucksack. As she took out a notebook (one that, he couldn’t help but notice, was designed exactly like the TARDIS exterior and clearly well-used), he cleared his throat to announce his presence and was granted a quick once-over before the professor returned her attention to the book.

“Thanks,” she offered, as if for some routine task, but the Doctor knew there would be more than that; he hadn’t done anything for this woman and they both knew it.

“For what?” he asked, hoping beyond hope the answer would be something simple and he’d be able to extricate himself from the situation with a minimum of fuss. He was hyper-aware of Rose’s watchful presence in his head and somehow doubted he’d be so lucky.

“The usual. For coming when I call.” It was already obvious that this was an out-of-order meeting. As a time traveller, such things were hardly unknown to him. One mystery solved.

“Oh, that was you?” he asked unnecessarily, feeling the timelines snarl and snare around him, in the same uncomfortable way Rose was coiling in his mind.

River still hadn’t looked up from her book. “You’re doing a very good job, acting like you don’t know me. I’m assuming there’s a reason.” A brief glance, and then she went back to reading. The Doctor didn’t uncross his arms — the way time wrapped around this woman set his teeth on edge, in stark contrast to her jovial behaviour.

“A fairly good one, actually,” the Doctor began, but before he could get any further River spoke over him again. He got the feeling he’d have to get used to this.

“Okay, shall we do diaries then? Where are we this time?” she began. Her casual tone suggested this happened frequently for her, and yet was still an anticipated and cherished event.

“Er.” For once, she looked at him properly. It made him feel like an experiment in a lab. “Going by your face, I’d say it’s early days for you, yeah?”

That statement was the first that made his blood run cold, and he had a sneaking suspicion it wouldn’t be the last. His face didn’t change. It would take hundreds of years for his face to age to the point where it would be noticeable to a human, and judging by the way he’d been wearing out regenerations recently, he couldn’t imagine he would reach an age that would elicit this sort of statement from someone he’d never met.

Seemingly unaffected by his obvious unease, she flipped to an earlier page in the book. “So… crash of the Byzantium. Have we done that yet?” The words meant nothing to the Doctor, so it was easy to keep his face impassive as she studied it for any change. “Obviously ringing no bells.” Her voice was careful, but undaunted, as though she expected this. “Right. Oh, picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?”

Rose sucked in a warning breath that he didn’t need, even if the woman’s wistful tone hadn’t tipped him off: Asgard was an unambiguously romantic destination. He’d taken Rose there on the one year anniversary of their travels together, as he was gathering up the courage to propose to her. He couldn’t imagine what he would be doing there with this woman, at any point in his personal future.

He knew his expression was stony now as he regarded her, but he didn’t care. River seemed unfazed by the change in his demeanour. “Obviously not. Blimey, very early days then.” She let out a long-suffering sigh. “Life with a time traveller. Who knew it could be such hard work!” She gave her book a cursory glance, then seemed to notice something when she looked up again. Her breath caught as she stared into his eyes. Rose was practically buzzing inside his head now, and the Doctor couldn’t say he liked where this was going either.

“Look at you,” River breathed. Her tone was a radical change from before, warm and soft, but it just made the Doctor feel even more uncomfortable. “Oh, you’re young.”

The Doctor kept his laugh in check with difficulty. It had been the same with Jackie: his mother-in-law’s attitude towards him had changed significantly when he’d regenerated to a ‘younger’ face. “I’m really not, you know,” he drawled. She couldn’t know him all that well if she thought that was the case.

“No, but you are!” River insisted. She reached up to cup his cheek with no hesitation. The Doctor was startled enough by the contact that he froze. “Your eyes!” Her tone was one of near-reverence. “You’re younger than I’ve ever seen you.”

Rose growled — actually growled — in his head. _Oi! Hands off!_

The Doctor shifted out of the way accordingly. Rose could feel how he felt, how the sensation of being touched by anyone other than his wife, especially when his wife was forcibly parted from him, made him sick to his stomach. Her anger was as much for him as for herself.

 _I love you,_ he told her, wrapping the thought in all the gratitude he felt. Her answering support was shot through with possessiveness. It killed her, to be an observer in his head watching someone else touch him so intimately, when it was all she’d wanted for so long. _I know, love. I wasn’t expecting it. I won’t be so careless again._

Their shared frustration ate at him. It had been a long three years. “You’ve seen me before then?” the Doctor questioned. “And I’d thank you not to do anything like that again,” he added. River blinked.

“Doctor? Please tell me you know who I am.” She looked so distraught, the Doctor couldn’t bring himself to answer “ _Not a clue!_ ” the way he wanted to. Instead he asked the burning question of the day.

“Who are you?”

River’s face fell instantly, and even he couldn’t parse the mixture of anguish and dread that she now regarded him with. He was grateful for the alarm that pulled him away from their conversation.

 _Just… stay with me, love?_ He didn’t know what time it was in Pete’s World, or what Rose was doing - it took a decent amount of effort to maintain a constant, stable connection - but he needed his wife by his side.

_I’m here, Doctor. I’m not leaving you._

_Never ever,_ the Doctor replied. It had become their bittersweet mantra, after they’d discovered their bond hadn’t broken. Without a doubt, the connection was better than nothing, but some days it was nothing more than a torment.

~oOo~

_Danger! Vashta Nerada!_

The downside of a constant telepathic bond was that all emotions were shared, negative as well as positive. Their individual panic had ramped up exponentially as time went on, each feeding the other in an endless loop. When the Doctor had put a name to the shadows, his instinctive, almost primal fear had jumped to Rose, despite her not knowing what the things were. His emotions were all she needed.

Donna’s compassion during Miss Evangelista’s final moments had moved Rose, despite having come to expect it from their friend. But even the Doctor had to grudgingly admit that River had comported herself admirably as well.

When River moved her blue journal out of the way in order to take out the boxed lunch he’d requested, he asked her again.

“What’s in that book?”

River barely glanced at him. “Spoilers,” she repeated.

 _I’m beginning to hate that word,_ Rose commented. The Doctor’s nerves were stretched taut, Rose was trying vainly to keep a lid on her own panic, and almost everything about the other woman’s existence was doing nothing to improve the situation.

“Who are you?” The Doctor switched tacks, not that he was expecting to get an answer.

“Professor River Song, University of—”

“To _me_ , who are you to me?” he pressed.

“Again, spoilers,” she said evenly.

The Doctor’s unease mirrored Rose’s. The way River behaved towards him was off; she claimed to know him in his future but seemed to at best disregard his wife, even claiming he’d taken her to romantic destinations. He couldn’t figure it out, and the jury was still out on whether the enigmatic archaeologist was friend or foe.

 _You don’t suppose…_ Rose began hesitantly, and the Doctor gave her his full attention, still buzzing his sonic to make it look like he was scanning for Vashta Nerada. _In the future, somehow, the three of us are…?_

The Doctor bit back his instant denial and tried to think it through logically.

 _I don’t do that, Rose_. His telepathic tone was carefully tempered. _It has nothing to do with the lifestyle — do you really think after spending all this time trying to get you back I’d ever want anyone else?_

Rose paused for a moment, taking in the waves of emotion she was getting from him. She could hardly do anything other than believe him, and it was doing wonders for her self esteem. But the possibility she’d imagined was far darker than that. _And if I don’t…?_

The Doctor’s jaw clenched. _Not an option,_ he said darkly. _You’re coming back to me_. He refused to consider any possibility where that wasn’t the case. _And even if…_ He broke off the thought. _What, you think I’d make you_ watch _?_ He pulled up the recent memory of how it had felt for both of them to have River caressing him.

 _No, of course not_. Rose’s voice was subdued. _‘M sorry, Doctor._

The Doctor’s anger deflated, like a balloon being punctured. _I’m sorry too, Rose_. _I didn’t mean to take it out on you_. He sent the equivalent of a comforting hug over the bond. _You were being brilliant, as usual. But there’s no chance._

Time was snarled around Professor Song in such a way that it made detecting the presence of a bond difficult, but the Doctor was inclined to think there wasn’t one. With Rose always in his head, the thought of carrying on with someone else the way River implied they would in his future struck him as abhorrent, and unspeakably cruel to both women, even if they consented to the arrangement.

And if there wasn’t a bond, River had even less of a right to waltz into his life and lay claim to him like this. _She would know about you, Rose._

On the day they’d discovered that Rose was telepathic enough to maintain a marriage bond, they’d also learned that Bad Wolf had enhanced her physiology and lifespan to match the Doctor’s. It remained one of the happiest days of his life: learning that time wouldn’t steal Rose from him, that she could keep her promise of forever. That memory was surpassed only by their wedding day. Even in the unthinkable scenario where he somehow still outlived Rose long enough to survive mourning her, River’s story rang false. _She would know about you, and if she’s someone I’m as close to as she claims, she would care._

“You travel with him, don’t you?” River’s voice broke into their telepathic embrace, and the Doctor shifted his focus again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw River talking to Donna. “The Doctor. You travel with him.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes where River couldn’t see. If she thought Donna an easier target for her charade, she was in for a surprise.

“What of it?” Donna said defensively, right on cue. The Doctor asked Proper Dave to move, not bothering to give a reason. Donna was obviously travelling with him. It struck him as the same method used by phony psychics, pretending deep knowledge by stating the obvious.

“You know him, don’t you?” Donna continued. The Doctor listened intently. Maybe River would let something slip if she thought he wasn’t paying attention.

“Oh God, do I know that man.” River did not disappoint, and the wistfulness in her voice would have moved him if it were in any other context. “We go way back, this man and me. Just not this far back.”

So, out of order meetings, as had been established before. He could see the wisdom of having a journal to keep it all straight, if she then hadn’t completely blown that out of the water by revealing so much initially.

“I’m sorry, what?” Donna said, and the Doctor sympathised. He’d met people out of order before. But the kind of non-linear relationship River was insinuating was unprecedented, even for him.

“He hasn’t met me yet.” River continued as though Donna hadn’t spoken. “I sent him a message, but it went wrong. It arrived too early. This is the Doctor in the days before he knew me. And he looks at me… he looks right through me and it shouldn’t kill me but it does.”

“What are you talking about?” Donna snapped. “Are you just talking rubbish? Do you know him, or don’t you?”

“Donna!” The Doctor could no longer pretend not to be listening. “Quiet, I’m working.”

 _Rude_ , Rose chastised him.

“Donna?” River said. The Doctor bit his tongue as he realised what he’d given away. “You’re Donna. Donna Noble.”

That solved the question of whether or not she actually knew him in the future. It wasn’t like there was a public record of his companions. However she’d come by the information, it made her far more dangerous than he’d thought.

“Yeah. Why?” The Doctor was distracted by the vague readings he was getting on his screwdriver. He was getting close.

“I do know the Doctor, but in his future,” River replied earnestly. “His personal future.”

“So why don’t you know me?” Donna asked. “Where am I in the future?”

“Okay, got a live one!” the Doctor exclaimed, relieved that he could move the conversation away from Donna’s future before River had the opportunity to do any more damage.

 _She might just know the name,_ Rose said reasonably. _You don’t keep photographs._

But then the Doctor spotted Proper Dave’s second shadow and the mystery of River Song was pushed to the back of his mind.

~oOo~

The Doctor started up their conversation again as he tried frantically to get the lights working. _It's not just that she knows the name, Rose. She should know what being a companion is. But instead she sought Donna out, dropping hints, like she didn't care about the timelines._

 _Maybe figure it out later when you're not in danger, love?_ Rose's thoughts were tinged with panic. There was too much happening all at once: the mystery of River’s screwdriver, plus her anger with him for sending Donna away, not to mention the Vashta Nerada were now swarming in earnest.

She was in the Doctor’s head, and could feel his fear, his reason for wanting to keep Donna safe if he possibly could. But Rose had been on the receiving end of that kind of treatment, more than once. _I would’ve been furious with you_.

 _Better furious and alive_. The Doctor’s thoughts were clipped and Rose let the matter go for now. The time to hash it out would be after they got out of the Library.

River echoed her sentiments. “We need to get a shift on.”

The Doctor checked his sonic, cold premonition creeping over him. Rose shivered at the touch of it on her mind.

“She’s not there,” he said. “I should have received a signal. The console signals me if there’s a teleport breach.”

“Well, maybe the coordinates have slipped,” River suggested. “The equipment here’s ancient.”

The Doctor approached the nearest node, heart pounding. If he’d inadvertently sent Donna somewhere else in the Library, completely on her own…

The node turned around. It had Donna’s face.

The Doctor’s brain stopped. Outside, River was shouting; inside, Rose was screaming at him. _Doctor!_ But all he could see was Donna. The friend he’d doomed trying to keep her safe, ignoring her wishes. The blame was squarely on his shoulders.

It wasn’t until River literally wrenched him out of it, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him along, that he spared a thought to his own predicament.

_DOCTOR!_

The Doctor winced; Rose’s voice was like a klaxon in his head. _I’m sorry_ , he thought. _I’m so, so, sorry._ He didn’t even know if he was projecting it through the bond or not, his thoughts scattered, but Rose quieted all the same.

 _Doctor, come on, keep it together, yeah?_ She sounded like she was hardly keeping it together herself. _You’ve got to keep yourself safe too, you hear me?_

But the Doctor was out of ideas. They were trapped between the shadows and Dave and he couldn’t make his brain work to come up with a solution. Donna’s voice just kept repeating the same line behind them and he couldn’t focus on anything except the thought that her last words would be as a face on the courtesy nodes she’d hated.

Rose sent the equivalent of a frantic shake over the bond. _Please. Please, love, I’m begging you. Do something!_

But in the end, it was left to River to once again save the day, using a squareness gun to open a hole in the bookcases. She grabbed the Doctor’s hand.

“This way, quickly! Move!”

The Doctor had just enough presence of mind to ensure the other members of the expedition went ahead of him, and then they all ran from the encroaching shadows.

Eventually they arrived at another rotunda. River opened the wall with her squareness gun and they all filed in. The Doctor immediately threw himself to his knees at the edge of the circle of light and started scanning the shadows. River barked orders.

“In the middle of the light, quickly. Don’t let your shadows cross. Doctor?”

“I’m doing it,” the Doctor bit back. As he scanned, he reached out for Rose, suddenly realizing she’d been silent for a while. _Love? Are you still there?_

 _I’m here, Doctor._ Rose’s mental signature was terse, and she sounded fainter than she had. The Doctor focussed more of his attention on her.

_I’m sorry._

Rose didn’t answer. Her fear, anger, and love were clear as day over the bond.

“Have you found a live one?” River demanded, and the Doctor wrenched himself away.

“Maybe. It’s getting harder to tell.” He smacked the sonic. “What’s wrong with you?”

River threw another chicken leg into the shadows (did all of them have chicken?) and once again it was bone before it hit the ground.

“Okay. Okay,” River said, in a tone of forced calm. “We’ve got a hot one. Watch your feet.”

“They won’t attack until there’s enough of them.” The Doctor had never seen Vashta Nerada in such numbers. “But they’ve got our scent now. They’re coming.” He kept scanning the shadows, no longer seeking for the existence of Vashta Nerada so much as trying to figure out what was wrong with his screwdriver. He needed more time to talk to Rose.

 _Rose…_ he offered, unsure of what to say. He sent the tentative equivalent of a hug over the bond, and felt a rush of relief when it was reciprocated, as Rose swept him up in her telepathic signature.

 _I was so afraid!_ she said. The Doctor winced. _I felt like I couldn’t reach you. Don’t you ever do that again!_

 _I promise,_ the Doctor said, giddy with the heady emotions zipping between them. _You’re welcome to say ‘I told you so.’_

Rose laughed, a little, and the Doctor’s heart warmed to hear it. _Plenty of time for that later. Right now I want you safe. You’re no good to Donna otherwise._

“And who _is_ the Doctor?” Lux was saying, sarcasm heavy in his words. Another reason the Doctor went off by himself so much is that the group seemed to have a charming habit of talking about him like he wasn’t there.

 _You’re barely a foot away!_ Rose said crossly. _Never mind a Time Lord,_ I _could hear them._

 _Now, now, Rose_ , the Doctor said absently, listening in. It baffled him as well - for someone who claimed to know him as well as she did, River was doing a remarkable job of not showing it. _How else would we find out what they’re thinking?_

“The only story you’ll ever tell,” River was saying. “If you survive him.”

Rose scoffed. _Seriously? “The only story you’ll ever tell”? What does she think this is, drama class?_ The Doctor didn’t react to her callback. He was far more troubled by the second half of River’s answer.

 _Doctor._ Rose’s voice held a chastising note. _Gandalf, not Wormtongue._

The Doctor smiled a little where the group couldn’t see. It was their private phrase; a reminder Rose had come up with for when he inevitably went too far blaming himself.

(“It’s like Wormtongue, yeah?” she’d said — she’d been deep into a rereading of _The Lord of the Rings_ at the time. “He blamed Gandalf for all the bad things that were happening, because that was the only time he’d show up. But of course, he’d only come when he was needed. He didn’t bring the bad things. People are always looking for someone to blame. But imagine if he hadn’t come.” She’d made her point, and ever since her teasing name of ‘Space Gandalf’ had stuck.)

“Listen,” River was saying, back in the present, “all you need to know is this. I’d trust that man to the end of the universe. And actually, we’ve been.”

The Doctor shot her a look as he shifted positions: he hadn’t seen her at Utopia, and it wasn’t like he could go back. The memory still stung, and Rose sent comfort over the bond.

“He doesn’t act like he trusts you,” Anita noted.

 _That’s because I don’t!_ the Doctor thought, and Rose agreed. River just sighed.

“Yeah, there’s a tiny problem. He hasn’t met me yet.”

The Doctor could feel her approaching him, presumably leaving very confused companions in her wake, and he couldn’t keep his spine from stiffening. He did _not_ trust River. And despite her protestations that she trusted him implicitly, the way she was behaving didn’t indicate that to the Doctor. Anyone he would choose to spend so much time around should know better than to run about dropping hints about timelines like she had been doing. _Spoilers,_ indeed.

“What’s wrong with it?” River asked, indicating his screwdriver. The Doctor grimaced.

“There’s a signal coming from somewhere. Interfering with it,” he gritted out, holding it up to his ear to listen more closely to the frequency.

“Then use the red settings,” River suggested casually, taking off her heavy gloves.

He looked up at her. “It doesn’t have a red setting.”

“Well, use the dampers,” River continued, unperturbed by his quelling tone.

The Doctor was incredulous. “It doesn’t have _dampers_.”

“It will do one day,” she said, holding her screwdriver out to him.

The Doctor grabbed it, giving the two models a brief, comparative glance. The idea of this woman swanning about claiming to know more about _his_ screwdriver than he did was the final straw.

“So, sometime in the future, I just give you my sonic screwdriver.” It wasn’t a question, as he fought to keep a lid on his anger.

“Yep.” River smiled and nodded, which infuriated him further.

“Why would I do that?” Her cavalier attitude towards the topic irked the Doctor.

“I didn’t pluck it from your cold, dead hands, if that’s what you mean,” she said, still with the same airy look on her face that suggested she wasn’t taking this seriously.

“And I know that, because…?” the Doctor pressed.

Finally some of the good humour fell from her face. “Listen to me. You’ve lost your friend. You’re angry, I understand. But you need to be less emotional, Doctor, right now.”

“ _Less_ —? I’m not emotional!” He _was_ angry, because she was deliberately provoking him. He didn’t have to be told that emotions wouldn’t help him get Donna back.

 _Kinda like how people shut you down, saying you’re too irrational for them to listen to your argument,_ Rose commented, and the Doctor pressed his lips together at the explanation of why River treating him like this rankled. Ever since he’d met her, River had seemed disinterested in actually working together, instead trying to push him to behave the way she expected him to.

“There are five people in this room still alive, focus on that!” River’s ponytail bounced in her agitation. “Dear _God_ , you’re hard work young.”

The Doctor exploded. “Young? Who are you?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Lux interjected. “Look at the pair of you. We’re all going to die, right here, and you’re just squabbling like an old married couple!”

River and the Doctor looked at each other, River like she’d been caught out at something. He’d sussed it out almost from the beginning, but her reaction confirmed his suspicion, and his hearts sank. This woman _couldn’t_ be his wife.

River took a deep breath, seeming to have come to a decision. “Doctor, one day I’m going to be someone that you trust completely. But I can’t wait for you to find that out. So I’m going to prove it to you. And I’m sorry.” Her fingers brushed the knot of his tie. Tears were in her voice now, and the Doctor trembled, timelines shimmering in the air around them. “I’m really very sorry.” She leaned up, and the Doctor bent down to have her whisper in his ear, a pit of dread in his stomach.

“ _Doctor._ ”

The word was in Gallifreyan, and the Doctor sucked in a breath, staring at River as she sank back down.

His mind raced through the implications. River was watching him warily, and he couldn’t tell if she knew what she’d said. Lux had said they were acting like they were married, and River had started making a big deal about this word, her apology so sincere it didn’t make any sense. Unless…

It wasn’t his name, his true name. Only Rose knew it — it had been hers from the instant they’d bonded. But River was acting like that was what she’d said. The Doctor wondered at his future self. What had he been trying to convey? He’d given this woman a word in Gallifreyan, to make it sound like his name. Why the subterfuge? Why play along with the farce?

Rose was tense in his mind. Though some of her attention had been elsewhere, she was fully present now.

River licked her lips. “Are we good?”

 _I don’t understand, Doctor_.

_Neither do I._

“Doctor, are we good?” The question was gentle, but firm. Like she expected a positive reply. And the truth was, it did answer one question. Whoever she was to him in the future, his future self had entrusted River with a word in Gallifreyan. He’d trusted her at least that much.

“Yeah.” The word came out with no sound, and he swallowed once. “Yeah, we’re good.”

River looked down, some of the tension leaching out of her. When she looked up again, relieved tears sprung in her eyes. “Good,” she whispered. She took her screwdriver out of his hand and went back to sit with the group.

The Doctor watched her go. _How long are you going to stay with me?_ he asked Rose, needing the reassurance.

 _Forever, my Doctor._ Rose’s reply was instant. Bolstered, the Doctor took a deep breath.

“Know what's interesting about my screwdriver? Very hard to interfere with. Practically nothing's strong enough. Well, some hairdryers, but I'm working on that.” His rambling broke the emotional tension on the bond and he felt Rose settle back in amusement. “So there is a very strong signal coming from somewhere, and it wasn't there before. So what's new? What's changed?” The group was silent. He needed to shake them out of their fear, get them thinking. “Come on,” he shouted, and Mr. Lux jumped. “What's new? What's different?”

“I dunno. Nothing. Uh, it’s getting dark?” Other Dave offered.

“It’s a screwdriver,” the Doctor drawled. “It works in the dark.” Although… He looked up through the skylight.

_Doctor, the moon!_

“Moon rise,” the Doctor agreed. The planet had been built, not formed. Why should it have a moon? He looked at Lux. “Tell me about the moon. What’s there?”

“It’s not real,” Lux said dismissively. “It was built as part of the Library. It’s just a Doctor Moon.” The way he said it made it sound like it should be obvious. The Doctor thought they might have hit on the key to the mystery.

“What’s a Doctor Moon?” He pressed Lux to elaborate.

“A virus checker,” Lux explained. “It supports and maintains the computer at the core of the planet.”

The Doctor had his screwdriver pointed straight up. “Well, still active. It’s signalling, look.” He stepped closer to the group, showing off how the screwdriver’s frequency was pulsing. “Someone somewhere in this library is alive and communicating with the moon.” He held the screwdriver up to his ear. “Or, possibly alive and drying their hair.” He shook his head slightly. “No, the signal is definitely coming from the moon.” He fiddled with the controls without looking. “I’m blocking it, but it’s trying to break through.”

“Doctor!” River cried, and the Doctor looked up to see Donna’s image.

“Donna!” Relief washed through him, both Rose’s and his own, at seeing Donna alive, even if it was just a projection. Donna looked at him, tilting her head in bemusement, and then disappeared again.

“That was her, that was your friend,” River said. “Can you get her back? What was that?”

The Doctor ignored her, already on it. “Hold on, hold on. I’m trying to find the wavelength.” He let out a sound of frustration. “I’m being blocked.” But he was forced to leave the mystery alone. Anita gained an extra shadow and zombie Dave caught up to them, and they were running again.


	2. Forest of the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I heard you like reunions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter this time! I hope you enjoy. The response to last week's chapter made me really happy! I was worried about getting flames from Doctor/River shippers. I've tried my utmost to be respectful of the character and I'm glad that seems to have come through. I hope this chapter fares similarly. I'm a bit nervous about how people will take it.

The Doctor’s big Time Lord brain was chugging away on multiple questions at once. Where was Donna? What was her connection to the moon that was blocking his sonic? Why were the Vashta Nerada here in such numbers? They hunted in forests, not libraries. There shouldn’t be enough of them here to be such a threat.

_Doctor, what does it matter why they’re here? They are, and they’re deadly. What more do you need to know?_

But curiosity niggled at him, the thought that maybe he could at least solve something. He hadn’t been able to bring Rose back, or save Donna, or work out who River Song was to him. If he could figure out why the Vashta Nerada were here, maybe he could find a way to beat them.

Aloud, he said, “Professor, go ahead. Find a safe spot.”

River cottoned on to what he was doing immediately, and it was that more than anything else that indicated to the Doctor that she knew him in the future. “It’s a carnivorous swarm in a suit,” she cried. “You can’t reason with it!” In his head, Rose emphatically nodded her agreement.

“Five minutes,” he bargained with both women.

River rolled her eyes and didn’t argue further. “Other Dave,” she said, pulling on the man’s arm, “stay with him. Pull him out when he’s too stupid to live. Two minutes, Doctor!” The rest of the group was gone before Other Dave could protest.

Rose felt cold. The way that River had so unhesitatingly sacrificed a member of their party to cater to the Doctor’s whims did not sit right with her.

 _We all work together to get out alive,_ she said. _And stand up to you if need be._

The Doctor, who stood watching the Vashta Narada’s staggering approach, didn’t respond.

“Hey! Who turned out the lights?”

“You hear that?” he said urgently. “Those words? That is the very last thought of the man who wore that suit before you climbed inside and stripped his flesh. That's a man's soul trapped inside a neural relay, going round and round forever. Now, if you don't have the decency to let him go, how about this? Use him. Talk to me.” The suit’s progress continued unimpeded. The Doctor tried again. “It's easy. Neural relay. Just point and think. Use him, talk to me.”

Rose had seen enough. She blared a mauve alert in his head. _No, Doctor, absolutely not. You are not putting Other Dave’s life on the line to satisfy your curiosity!_

The Doctor turned and blinked at Other Dave, who stood shifting foot to foot, looking wide-eyed and very frightened, but doing as River told him to do.

Suddenly the Doctor was angry. Being reckless with his own life was one thing but he refused to add another mark to his conscience. And he couldn’t tell whether River had known this and left Other Dave to make him reconsider, or whether she had truly been willing to sacrifice a member of her team. Neither option spoke well of her.

“On second thought, Other Dave, let’s go!” The Doctor spun on his heels and ran, Other Dave needing no further prompting to follow suit.

 _Thank you, Doctor._ Rose’s relief was overwhelming. _Save the people who are still alive, and then there’ll be lots of time to speculate about how the Vashta Narada got here._

The Doctor swallowed. Rose was right. Then he felt her withdraw from the bond temporarily, leaving him to focus on the task of running.

* * *

“You know, I keep wishing the Doctor were here.” River’s voice rose up from the depths of the rotunda. The Doctor caught Other Dave’s arm, holding a finger to his lips for silence. Dave halted, looking confused.

“The Doctor _is_ here, isn’t he?” Anita asked. “He’s coming back, right?”

River continued as though she hadn’t heard. “You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it’s from years before you know them, and it’s like they’re not quite finished. They’re not done yet. Well, yes, the Doctor’s here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not _my_ Doctor. Now my Doctor, I've seen whole armies turn and run away. And he'd just swagger off back to his Tardis and open the doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor in the TARDIS. Next stop, everywhere.”

Rose was suddenly furious. Her ire didn’t make sense to the Doctor, who simply moved to the top of the stairs and said, “Spoilers.”

River’s head jerked up, tracking him as he ambled down the staircase. “Nobody can open a TARDIS by snapping their fingers,” he informed her. “It doesn’t work like that.”

River recovered her aplomb. “It does for the Doctor.”

“I _am_ the Doctor,” he snarled. Rose’s rage pulsed in his head, nearly giving him a headache.

“Yeah,” River scoffed. “Some day.”

The Doctor ignored the group to focus on Rose, who was seething.

_What’s got you so upset, love?_

It took a moment for Rose to pull her thoughts together.

 _You_ are _the Doctor,_ she thought fiercely. _And that’s as true of the you that played the recorder as much as the you that River knows._ The Doctor caught a brief glimpse of memory, Rose’s memory of the moment she’d asked him to turn back into his leather-wearing self. The memory was tinged with guilt and self-recrimination, as Rose now understood how much that request had hurt him. She hastily locked it away.

 _That’s not the point, Doctor,_ she said, as he was about to comfort her. _That’s what it took for me to understand. You will_ always _be the Doctor, no matter what you look like. Someone who can’t see that, who could look at your first self and call you “unfinished?” Who has the nerve to hold out for some future version when you’re standing right in front of her? Has no business being your partner._ The issue now seemed to be settled in Rose’s mind.

 _I love you,_ the Doctor managed.

 _I love you too,_ Rose replied. _My Doctor_. If she put the slightest amount of emphasis on the possessive, the Doctor certainly didn’t mind. It was true. Rose had looked through all of time as Bad Wolf, and Bad Wolf had claimed him. He was hers, in every incarnation.

But he couldn’t afford to lose himself with Rose. He turned his attention to Anita, who still had two shadows. “Still with us, Anita? Good.”

“Why haven’t they gotten me yet?” Anita’s voice from behind the blacked out visor was pragmatic, and the Doctor’s hearts went out to her.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Maybe tinting your visor’s making a difference.”

“It’s making a difference, all right,” she said with a grim little laugh. “No one’s ever going to see my face again.”

“Can I get you anything?” he found himself asking.

“An old age would be nice.”

The Doctor had just meant so she wouldn’t have to move, but her bravery struck him once again. “I’m all over it,” he pledged.

“Doctor.” Anita stopped him from moving away. “When we first met you, you didn't trust Professor Song. And then she whispered a word in your ear, and you did. My life so far, I could do with a word like that. What did she say?”

The Doctor hesitated, torn. As last requests went, it wasn’t unreasonable, but he found himself unable to admit the answer.

“Give a dead girl a break,” Anita pushed. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

The Doctor froze, her wording shaking something loose. _Rose. What was it you said, back there with Other Dave?_

Rose’s attention sharpened. _Save the people who are still alive,_ she repeated.

“Safe,” the Doctor whispered.

“What?” Anita asked.

“Safe. You don’t say _saved_. You say _safe_. That data fragment!” He turned to Lux. “What did it say?”

“Four thousand twenty two people saved,” Lux recited. “No survivors.”

 _Saved, not safe,_ the Doctor thought.

“Doctor?” River asked, unknowingly echoed by Rose.

The Doctor’s mind was racing. He’d thought it was archaic wording, the way they used to report on ship disasters. All hands aboard, saved or lost. But they were in a library. A library that was a whole planet. Whose core was a literal computer.

“Don’t you see?” the Doctor exclaimed. “It didn’t mean _safe_. It meant _saved._ It meant, it literally meant, _saved_!”

He ran to a terminal, accessing the Library Archive, which finally let him in.

“See, there it is, right there!” He pointed. “A hundred years ago, massive power surge. All the teleports going at once. Soon as the Vashta Nerada hit their hatching cycle, they attack. Someone hits the alarm. The computer tries to teleport everyone out.”

River blinked. “It tried to teleport four thousand twenty two people?”

“It succeeded,” the Doctor informed her. “Pulled them all out, but then what? Nowhere to send them. Nowhere safe in the whole library. Vashta Nerada growing in every shadow. Four thousand and twenty two people all beamed up and nowhere to go. They're stuck in the system, waiting to be sent, like emails. So what's a _computer_ to do?”

“It saved them,” River breathed, understanding at last.

The Doctor grabbed a marker and drew on top of a polished table. Maybe it was excessive, but it felt good to finally solve one part of the mystery.

“The Library.” Two concentric circles, the smaller one with an arrow pointing to it. “A whole world of books, and right at the core, the biggest hard drive in history. The index to everything ever written, backup copies of every single book. The computer saved four thousand and twenty two people the only way a computer can. It saved them to the hard drive.”

An alarm sounded, punctuating the celebratory mood.

“What is it?” Lux looked up and around. “What’s wrong?”

“Autodestruct enabled in twenty minutes,” said the emotionless computer voice.

“What’s maximum erasure?” River asked, reading off the screen.

“In twenty minutes, this planet’s going to crack like an egg,” the Doctor told her. If he didn’t know any better, he’d have thought the computer was upset he’d figured out the secret.

“No, no, it’s all right,” Lux said slowly, like he couldn’t believe what was happening. “The Doctor Moon will stop it. It’s programmed to protect CAL.”

Even as he said it, the screen blipped off, like the power had been cut.

“No, no, no!” the Doctor repeated, hitting the edge of the console before climbing on top of it to try and restore power. If he couldn’t stop the shutdown then Donna would be erased along with four thousand and twenty two other people.

“All Library systems are permanently offline,” said a different robotic voice. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

“We need to stop this. We’ve got to save CAL,” Lux said unnecessarily.

“What is it?” the Doctor leaned forward. “What is CAL?”

Lux still hesitated. “We need to get to the main computer,” he said at last. “I’ll show you.”

“It’s at the core of the planet,” the Doctor pointed out.

“Well then,” River said lightly. “Let’s go.” Her ponytail bounced as she led the way over to the roundel in the centre of the floor, pointing her screwdriver at it. It opened, releasing a blue forcefield.

“Gravity platform,” she announced.

The Doctor jumped down from the terminal, stowing his own sonic. He had to admit, he was impressed by how she knew where to look. When she wasn’t busy dropping hints about his personal future, he liked River.

They descended on the platform, which gave way to stark, utilitarian corridors in direct contrast with the elegant woodwork above. Turning a corner, the Doctor looked up, right into the core of the planet.

“The data core,” he said. “Over four thousand living minds trapped inside it.”

“Yeah, well they won’t be living much longer,” River said. “We’re running out of time.” The Doctor wanted to snap at her that he knew exactly how much time they had left, but he didn’t bother. They ran on.

In a room washed with blue light, the Doctor found another access terminal.

“Help me,” a voice said. “Please, help me.”

“What’s that?” Anita asked.

“Was that a child?” River said, looking around. But the Doctor was focussed on the computer.

“The computer’s in sleep mode,” he said. “I can’t wake it up, I’m trying.” He typed as many different commands as he could think of but nothing seemed to work.

“Doctor, these readings,” River said.

“I know. You’d think it was dreaming,” the Doctor agreed.

“It is dreaming.” Lux’s voice came from the corner, as he removed his helmet and gloves. “Of a normal life, and a lovely dad, and every book ever written.”

“Computers don’t dream,” Anita said.

“No,” Lux confirmed, opening a cabinet. “But little girls do.” He pulled a breaker. There was the sound of moving machinery, and he ran past them into the next room. Everyone made shift to follow.

Lux stood before another courtesy node, which had a little girl’s face on it when it turned to face them. “Help me. Please, help me,” it repeated.

“Oh my God.” River gasped.

“It’s the little girl,” Other Dave said. “The little girl we saw in the computer.”

“She’s not in the computer.” Lux’s tone was hushed and reverent. “In a way, she is the computer. The main command node. This is CAL.”

Disbelief and disgust warred within the Doctor. “CAL is a _child_?” he burst out. Lux turned away from him. “A _child_ hooked up to a mainframe? Why didn’t you tell me this? I needed to know this!”

“Because she’s family!” Lux shouted, and the Doctor subsided. “CAL. Charlotte Abigail Lux. My grandfather's youngest daughter. She was dying, so he built her a library and put her living mind inside, with a moon to watch over her, and all of human history to pass the time. Any era to live in, any book to read. She loved books more than anything, and he gave her them all. He asked only that she be left in peace. A secret, not a freak show.”

“So, you weren’t protecting a patent.” There were tear tracks on Lux’s cheeks, and the Doctor kept his voice gentle, despite the time limit. “You were protecting _her_.”

Lux stepped up to his aunt’s node. “This is only half a life, of course,” he said, caressing her face. “But it’s forever.”

“And then the shadows came,” the Doctor intoned.

“The shadows,” Charlotte said. “I have to. I have to save. Have to save.”

“She saved them.” The Doctor was in awe now. “She saved everyone in the Library. Folded them into her dreams and kept them safe.”

“Then why didn’t she tell us?” Anita asked. Lux stepped back and turned to look at her, but the Doctor understood.

“Because she’s forgotten,” he replied. “She’s got over four thousand living minds chatting away inside her head.”

“So what do we do?” River got them back to the matter at hand.

“Autodestruct in ten minutes,” the computer reminded them.

“Easy!” the Doctor exclaimed, pushing past the group into the previous room. “We beam all of the people out of the data core. The computer will reset and stop the countdown.” The Doctor looked at the readings he was getting and didn’t like what he saw. “Difficult.” He raked his hands through his hair. “Charlotte doesn’t have enough memory space left to make the transfer.” He quickly considered and discarded the idea of letting CAL borrow his memory space — he wouldn’t put Rose through that, even if he did survive.

“Easy.” River’s voice was confident. He spun around to regard her. “I’ll hook myself up to the computer. Charlotte can borrow my memory space.”

The Doctor was briefly astonished that she had somehow come up with the same idea so quickly.

“Absolutely not,” he said immediately. “It’ll kill you. I can’t let you do that.”

River’s veneer slipped just slightly. “Doctor, we have to do something!”

The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver. “And we will. I want you, Dave, and Luxy boy to head back up to the main library. Prime any data cells you find for maximum download.” Behind River, Lux nodded his comprehension. “I will teleport people out one by one if I have to.” And he would pray that one of them was Donna. As plans went it was reprehensible, but he couldn’t see any other options. He despaired at the thought of the TARDIS, a massive supercomputer, sitting just out of reach upstairs, part of events. Then he shoved that regret aside. There was no point wishing for things to be different.

River stared at him. “There isn’t enough time,” she said.

“I know!” the Doctor snapped. “If I start reducing the load on the system, it might override the shutdown.” They both knew it was unlikely, and he saw her open her mouth to argue again.

“Don’t.” He cut her off. “This is the best option we’ve got. Now, please, Professor, just do as I say!”

He held her gaze, and River scowled. “Oh, I hate you sometimes!”

“I know!” the Doctor retorted, running back to the terminal. He could tell just from their short interaction that it was a well-worn argument, but at least she was listening now. The three pelted away.

“What about the Vashta Nerada?” Anita asked from behind him. The Doctor slowed his typing, but didn’t turn around. There was a reason he hadn’t included her in the group to go back upstairs.

“I’m going to seal Charlotte away inside her own little world,” the Doctor said without looking, “take everybody else away. The shadows can swarm to their hearts’ content.” He couldn’t show any sign of weakness. He had to convince the Vashta Nerada to let go of the only prey they’d had for a hundred years. As bargaining positions went, it wasn’t a great one.

“So you think they’re just going to let us go?” said the swarm with Anita’s voice. The Doctor hated it for using Anita’s lips to form the words, to mock her.

“Best offer they’re going to get,” he said shortly, running over to some conduits to try to boost the power, realizing as he did that Rose had been strangely quiet for the past few minutes. He frowned: she’d promised to stay with him, and it was exceedingly odd for her to be absent when he was in danger, but he couldn’t spare the mental energy to reach out to her.

“You’re gonna make ‘em an offer?”

The Doctor hoped he wasn’t imagining the slight note of interest in Anita’s voice. “They’d better take it,” he warned. “Because right now, I’m finding it very hard to make any kind of offer at all. You know what?” Back at the console, he looked at the suit for the first time since it had started speaking. “I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying. She never gave in. And you ate her.” Using his sonic, he removed the tint from the visor to reveal the skull he knew would be behind it. “But I’m going to let that pass, just as long as you let them pass.”

“How long have you known?” the swarm asked.

The Doctor took a few steps towards the suit. “I counted the shadows. You only have one now. She’s nearly gone.” He indicated the failing neural relay with a jerk of his chin. “Be kind.”

Anita’s voice took on a dark edge, now that the swarm was no longer pretending. “These are our forests. We are not kind.”

“Your _forests_?” the Doctor stepped back, the mystery of why the Vashta Nerada had come here dragged to the forefront of his mind. “You’re nowhere near a forest, look around you!”

“These are our forests. We hatched here,” the Vashta Nerada repeated.

“But you hatch from trees,” the Doctor disagreed. “From spores in trees. There are no trees in a… library.” The Doctor paused as he realised. “Books. You came in the books. Microspores in a million, million books.” He stepped back, linking his hands behind his head as the truth washed over him. “The forests of the Vashta Nerada, pulped and bound. A million, million books, hatching shadows.” Then he blinked, returning to the matter at hand. “I’m giving you back your forests, but you are giving me them. You are letting them go.” He turned away before the swarm could see doubt in his eyes.

“These are our forests. They are our meat.” The Doctor fought the urge to turn around, knowing if he did he would likely see shadows stretching out towards him. Before he could think of what words it would take for the Vashta Nerada to spare him, there was a twitch in his head, a shiver in the timelines. From behind him there came a rushing sound, and a burst of blue light, and the Doctor paused. That didn’t sound like a swarm.

“Oi, you! That’s close enough!”

The Doctor’s hearts leapt into his throat at the sound of the voice, the beautiful, miraculous voice. He still couldn’t turn around, afraid that he would see nothing and the voice would turn out to be still in his head. But he also couldn’t bear not knowing. Slowly, so slowly, he turned to look behind him. A blonde in a leather jacket stood between him and the Vashta Nerada. _Rose!_

Instinct screamed at him to reach out, to pull her away from danger, but he was frozen, incapable of movement, like he was time locked.

The swarm in a suit tilted its head. “Who are you?” it asked. The shadows halted.

“I’m the Bad Wolf.” Rose’s voice rang out confidently. “And you’re threatening my Doctor. That is not a safe place to stand.”

The pause that followed defied his time senses. The Doctor could only stand, waiting, as the universe held its breath.

“You have one day,” the swarm said, and then Anita’s skeleton finally collapsed.

Even then, the Doctor couldn’t move, staring helplessly as Rose let out a sigh of relief, then turned to face him.

“Hello,” she said, a wide grin stretching across her face.

“Rose.” He whispered her name, unable to get enough air in his lungs, as the vision of his wife before him stole his breath away.

Impossibly, her smile widened, her tongue touching her teeth, and it was that familiar sight that jolted the Doctor into motion. Before his brain caught up, he crossed the space to her in a single stride, sweeping her up into his arms and that teasing touch of tongue into his mouth.

Rose let out an involuntary sound before melting into his embrace, and the Doctor’s legs locked and threatened to give out under the weight of his relief. Rose was here, she was _here_ , and he clung to her ever tighter, heedless of the time limit.

When Rose finally broke the kiss, gasping for air, the Doctor buried his face in her shoulder, repeating her name over and over. “Rose.”

“ _Rose_?” The discordant note came from the doorway, and the Doctor looked up to see River standing ramrod-straight, white-faced, as though she’d seen a ghost. “ _That’s_ Rose?”

Rose pulled away, keeping the Doctor’s hand firmly clasped in hers. “So you do know who I am, then,” she said mildly.

River’s mouth opened and closed before she could speak. “He told me about you. Once. Just a name. Some pains go too deep.” Rose’s grip on his hand was like a vise. River met Rose’s eyes for the first time. “You’re not supposed to _be_ here.”

The Doctor opened his mouth to take her to task, but he could feel the truth of her words. Timelines were twisting — shifting and changing. By coming back when she had, Rose had changed the future.

Rose tossed her head. “Well, I am, and we have a little over five minutes before the computer erases four thousand and twenty three people.”

River swallowed. “Then here’s what we’re going to do. I’m hooking myself up to the computer — no, _dammit_ , Doctor, you are going to listen to me.” She held up a hand as the Doctor began to protest again. River looked between the two of them, to their clasped hands. “I’ve never known you like this. There’s no space for someone like me in your future now. And honestly, there probably shouldn’t be.” Her expression was frank. “It’s my choice, Doctor. Either you let me make it, or let four thousand people die.”

The Doctor’s hearts burned. This went against everything he stood for. “If this is about Rose,” he said warningly, as River began hauling out cables.

“Oh, for God’s sake.” River sighed in exasperation. “I never had a childhood,” she said as she continued to work. “It was stolen from me. Being with you helped, but you never looked at me the way you’re looking at her. I don’t think you could. I can see it now: losing Rose broke something in you that never really healed.”

Blindly, the Doctor pulled Rose against his side as she clung to him.

“But I don’t understand,” he managed at last. “We still have the bond. Why would we—?”

River looked up quickly. “The you I knew never had a bond.”

The Doctor gasped and clutched Rose tighter. The thought of never bonding with Rose, of never connecting their minds, of losing her forever… He shuddered at the dark touch of it.

“My past is still to come, for you,” River continued. “And maybe, just maybe, if I do this, it’ll make room for a different life. One where I grow up with my parents, and find someone else. Someone who looks at me that way.” She glared at the Doctor. “But one way or another, my story ends here. Everything that I am changed when she came back early, and I refuse to go on like this.” She held his eyes. “You have to let me do this.”

_She’s right, Doctor._

He looked down at Rose in shock, and she shook her head. “Look at the timelines,” she said aloud. “I don’t understand what’s happening either, but she has the right to decide.”

“Thank you,” River said lightly.

The Doctor let himself look, really look, at River. The way Time coiled around her now put him in mind of a paradox, without the grating wrongness.

“Who are you, River Song?” he asked again, more gently this time.

“I was more than a companion,” River answered. “And I thought I was your wife. But I never was, even though you never had a bond with Rose. She was always it for you, and even though you never talked about her, I could tell. Probably why I hung onto you so tightly.” She gave a little self deprecating laugh. “But it’s better this way.” Her eyes were clear as she looked at them. “This way, you can be happy. And so can I.”

The Doctor felt very old. It was true, he had no desire to be with anyone but Rose. But had he and River truly been so bad for each other?

“Now are you going to help me?” River’s voice was tart. “Or just stand around and watch me do all the work?”

Rose stepped forward. “Tell me what to do,” she said quietly.

The Doctor didn’t move. He still couldn’t condone this, but he couldn’t see any other way around it. River was right: Time no longer had a place for her, and he couldn’t figure out why his wife returning to him should make this so.

“ _Autodestruct in two minutes,_ ” the computer said. Rose stepped back to the Doctor’s side, and he wrapped his arm around her. River looked pointedly at where their hands were joined. Her mouth twisted in a smile, but she didn’t comment. There was an awkward moment as they all stood around looking for something to say.

“I’m timing it for the end of the countdown,” River informed them. “There’ll be a blip in the command flow. That way it should improve our chances of a clean download.” She twisted some final wires together. “Don’t you dare apologise,” she said fiercely, looking up at him, and the Doctor shut his mouth. “It’s not over for you. You’ll see me again.”

“ _Autodestruct in one minute.”_

“Take my journal.” River blinked a few times in quick succession. “It’s not spoilers now. Take it and remember me.”

The Doctor swallowed hard. “I will,” he promised. He didn’t know what else to say to her — to this woman that he was apparently so close to and yet had never really existed. _Life with a time traveller._ “River...” he tried.

“That’s not my name.” River shook her head slightly. “I mean, it is. But my first name, the name my parents gave me, is Melody.”

“Melody Song,” the Doctor repeated, knowing that he would remember.

River chuckled, though there were tears starting in her eyes. “You know, I don’t remember if I’ve ever heard you call me that. How odd.” She smiled at Rose. “Despite everything, I’m actually glad that I got to meet you.”

The computer began its final countdown from ten. River took a deep breath. Only Rose’s grip on the Doctor’s hand kept him from charging forward. Having to stand and watch was perhaps one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

Rose stepped forward instead. Neither woman spoke, but they held each other’s gaze as some kind of understanding passed between them. Finally, River nodded.

“Well. How about that?” she said softly. “Here goes!” She frowned suddenly, and the Doctor’s hearts clenched, that she’d had a change of heart now, when it was too late.

“What was it I always used to say?” River mused. “Oh, right.” Getting the cables ready, she beamed at them. “Penny in the air…”

There was a bright flash of light. Rose turned her head into the Doctor’s shoulder and even the Doctor had to raise a hand to shield his eyes. When the light faded, River was gone.

Rose and the Doctor looked at each other. They were finally together again, but it wasn’t right to stay here where River had died.

River’s notebook was sitting on the floor next to the makeshift chair. The Doctor swallowed as he went to pick it up. _Spoilers_ , River’s gleeful voice whispered in his ear. Running his thumb over the blue binding, he stepped back to take Rose’s hand.

“Let’s go, Doctor,” Rose said, and the Doctor drew strength from her, as always. Hand in hand, they went upstairs.

*

When they reached the main room where the TARDIS waited, they found chaos.

“ _Only three can teleport at a time,_ ” a voice over the intercom was saying. “ _Do not state your intended destination until you arrive at your designated slot._ ” Hundreds were milling around, and the Doctor wondered how they were going to find Donna in all of this.

“We’ll split up,” Rose suggested. “Each take one side.”

The Doctor was reluctant to let Rose out of his sight even for a moment, but recognised the instinct as irrational.

“It’s all right, love,” Rose said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The Doctor gave her a grateful smile, and they parted.

In the end, Donna wasn’t that difficult to find. In a room full of black-clad, befuddled people, the fiery redhead stood out like a beacon.

“Donna!” the Doctor exclaimed, holding out his arms, but his friend practically pushed past him.

“Not now, Doctor,” she muttered, scanning the crowd. “I’ve got to find Lee.”

In bits and pieces, the Doctor managed to coax the broad strokes of the story from Donna as they pushed through the crowd: she’d lived a whole life in the computer, including a marriage and children.

Guilt hit the Doctor like a fist to the gut. If he hadn’t sent her into the computer in the first place, none of that would have happened.

“Keep looking,” the Doctor told her. She knew what the man looked like. “I’ll go check at reception.”

Rose joined him at the desk, and their hands met and clasped without conscious thought. Lux’s news, however, wiped the smile off his face.

“I’m sorry, Doctor,” he said, scanning the screen in front of him, “there wasn’t anyone named Lee McAvoy in the Library that day. He’s not in any of the records.” Lux gave Rose a strange look, and the Doctor pulled her away before he could ask any awkward questions.

Donna did not take the news well. “But he could have had a different name out here, couldn’t he?” she demanded.

The Doctor nodded reluctantly, but before he could say anything her shoulders slumped. “Let’s be honest. He wasn’t real, was he?” She looked at Rose. “Who’s this?”

The Doctor bristled at her tone, but Rose smiled at him and stepped forward. “I’m Rose.”

Donna gaped. “ _That_ Rose?” she asked. Something flicked through her eyes too quick to catch before they shuttered. “How the hell did you get here?” She waved a brusque hand. “Never mind. I just want to go home.”

The Doctor could feel Rose’s sympathy mirroring his own. It couldn’t be easy to have lost the man of your dreams only to have the Doctor’s missing wife shoved in your face.

“Are you sure, Donna?” Rose asked carefully. “There are only three teleports in this room; we could stay and watch them.”

“Could we?” Donna asked. The hope in her face was heartbreaking.

“Of course,” the Doctor assured her. He was anxious to get back to the TARDIS with Rose but he couldn’t begrudge Donna her chance at happiness after his own had just fallen into his lap.

The truth none of them mentioned was that Lee, if he existed, could have easily been in a different part of the Library. But it cost them nothing to do the best they could for Donna.

The Doctor resisted the urge to bounce on his toes. It was torture to have Rose here, beside him, in the flesh, and yet have to constrain himself to nothing but a chaste handhold. Even that seemed like too much of a display as he watched Donna frantically scanning the face of each person who crossed the teleport pad. He and Rose had waited three years. They could wait a few more hours.

Rose squeezed his hand and smiled up at him, shaking him out of his thoughts of dragging her away behind one of the bookshelves.

 _We’ll get our chance, Doctor_ , she said, and the Doctor immediately lost himself in the sound of her voice in his head. He’d forgotten (or had repressed) how much stronger, how much more resonant her telepathic signature was when it wasn’t being filtered through the tinny speaker of the Void.

By mutual agreement, they didn’t speak aloud — the time for catching up would be later, and it would be too easy for any conversation between them to turn into flirting. Donna had given them a detailed description of Lee, and they stood with her watching the crowd. Rose’s hand in his was like an anchor, and he gripped it tightly. Once they got back to the TARDIS, he could start to believe that this wasn’t some kind of dream.

Rose’s hand spasmed in his. “Isn’t that him?” she exclaimed. Almost before the Doctor had looked around, Donna was off like a shot, pushing heedlessly through the crowd. All three of them were shouting his name, the Doctor and Rose waving like mad trying to get his attention. A few people turned, but not the man in question, lending credence to the idea that Lee wasn’t his real name.

Lee was getting on the pad. Donna managed to shove her way to the front. By this point, most of the people in the room had been distracted by the scene. Lee just stared at Donna, seeming to forget where he was.

“Get off the pad!” Rose and the Doctor yelled, but the two didn’t appear to be listening. Finally, Lee took an almost involuntary step forward; a moment later, the two people on either side of him vanished. The Doctor let out a sigh of relief at how close it had come — any longer and the mysterious Lee would truly have been lost to them.

“You’re real,” Donna said, through tears. “I knew you were real.”

“D-D-D…” Lee struggled to say Donna’s name.

“Oh, just come here,” Donna sobbed, opening her arms. Lee swept her up in an embrace.

The Doctor took that as his cue to pull Rose against him. “You’re real,” he whispered, planting a kiss in her hair.

Rose squeezed him tightly. “Really real,” she affirmed, favouring him with a smile. “I promise, Doctor.”

A smattering of applause had started from the crowd at the display, and the Doctor was itching to get back to the TARDIS. It couldn’t, of course, be that simple. Now that Donna had found Lee, she would have to explain to a man who had been presumed dead for a hundred years that she was a time traveller from thousands of years in the past who travelled in a box that was bigger on the inside.

Donna dragged a bemused Lee over to introduce them. “Lee, this is the Doctor, and Rose. I, er, sorta travel with them.”

Rose held out her hand. “I’m so glad Donna found you,” she said warmly.

“She s-said she would,” Lee said, smiling down at Donna.

“Thing is, Donna,” the Doctor said, trying to keep the impatience from his voice, “I really need to move the TARDIS.” Donna looked vaguely apprehensive at the thought of everything she and Lee had to talk about.

“TARDIS?” Lee echoed, faltering over the unfamiliar word.

The Doctor opened his mouth to respond, but Donna held up a hand. “ _I’ll_ explain, Spaceman,” she said quellingly, and pulled Lee away. The Doctor inferred he wouldn’t be required to do his tour yet and turned to Rose, who was looking in the direction of the TARDIS with an all-too-familiar look of yearning. The Doctor said nothing, following Rose as she drifted over to the ship as though drawn by an invisible string. When she leaned against the doors, stroking the wood, the Doctor felt a shiver of relief down his pilot’s bond, and disguised it by rubbing his sideburn.

“She missed you, too,” he said quietly, and Rose smiled.

The sight reminded him of River’s journal, and he pulled it out of his pocket and stared at it.

“Are you going to open it?” Rose asked, coming to him and sliding an arm around his waist. The Doctor hugged her back gratefully.

“Not yet,” he answered. He suspected he wasn’t ready for whatever the contents would reveal. “You aren’t going in?” Rose shook her head.

“I’ll wait for you,” she said.

“I wanted to keep an eye on Donna,” the Doctor explained, and Rose squeezed him tighter in understanding. Donna and Lee stood a ways away, talking animatedly.

“Rose…” The Doctor looked down at her. “Right there at the end, you and River… What was that?” It wasn’t the most important question, but it felt like one he could ask safely here, standing in the lobby of the Library, ignored by everyone.

Rose stared at the blue cover of River’s journal.

“In those pages,” she began haltingly, “there’s a you that only she knew. I think we both realised it, at the same moment. That future never existed now. She’s the only one who got to know that you. I might be here now, but she gets to keep that Doctor. I like to think that made her happy.”

The Doctor made a sound of comprehension; privately, he believed he wouldn’t like that Doctor very much. _You never looked at me the way you look at her. I don’t think you could._ It didn’t take much effort for the Doctor to imagine the man he might have become, after centuries without Rose by his side.

He shook himself out of such dark thoughts as Donna and Lee approached them; Lee hesitant, Donna brash as ever. The Doctor hoped for her sake that Lee was one of those people who could “take it,” that the computer had matched her up with someone who could accept her real lifestyle.

“S-so this is a time machine?” Lee inquired, looking doubtfully at the wooden box. The Doctor plastered a smile on his face.

“The TARDIS!” he said, spreading his arms. “Time and Relative Dimension in Space.”

“Oh, just get on with it, Doctor,” Donna sighed in exasperation, and the Doctor obliged, turning to Rose and gesturing for her to use her key, which she did with obvious joy. She bounded inside, and Donna and Lee followed her. The Doctor hung back, leaning against the open door as Lee stared around himself in amazement, and then pulled the door shut behind him, eager to leave the Library behind. Rose was sitting on the jumpseat with her eyes closed, and he joined her at the console, already beginning the sequence to take them into the Vortex.

“She said it was b-bigger on the inside,” Lee said. “But to _see_ it…”

“I know,” Rose said, opening her eyes and beaming. “Isn’t she brilliant?”

The TARDIS’ delight zipped through the Doctor’s bond, compounding his own happiness, until he had to laugh.

“D-D-Donna said it’s been a hundred years,” Lee said, and the Doctor sobered.

“Yeah,” he said. He had no idea who Lee was or what his life had been like, but discovering you’d been living in a computer for a century would be difficult for anyone. Everything and everyone he knew would be gone now.

“C-could you take me back?” Lee asked quietly. The Doctor sighed. He’d expected the question but it didn’t make it any easier to receive.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry, but it doesn’t work like that. The mystery of what happened to the Library is what brought all of us here to solve it. If you go back to your time, you jeopardise that entire timeline. It would create a paradox, and cause even more damage.”

Lee considered this answer, as Donna watched him anxiously. At last he nodded slowly.

“I don’t r-really understand,” he said. “B-but Donna—” he forced the name out without stammering “—told me about you. I don’t think you’d l-lie.”

“Thank you,” the Doctor said sincerely. It was only natural that Lee would want to return. He’d have to remember to thank Donna later for smoothing over his explanation as to why he couldn’t.

“But the TARDIS doesn’t just travel in time,” the Doctor continued. “I can’t take you back to your own time, but if you want to go back home, in this century, I could do that.”

Lee nodded again. “I’d like that,” he said. A shadow of weariness crossed his face.

“Maybe after a kip?” Rose suggested. “Dunno about the rest of you, but I’m knackered.”

The Doctor admired Rose’s tact as both Lee and Donna nodded fervently. The Doctor, too, was eager to be alone with Rose. “The TARDIS’ll set up a room for you,” he told Lee. “Right next to Donna’s, if I’m not mistaken.” The couple smiled at each other.

“Here, I’ll show you,” Donna said, grabbing Lee’s hand and starting off down the corridor. A moment later she turned back. “Doctor?”

“Hmm?” His attention had already wandered.

“Thanks.”

The Doctor smiled. “It was my pleasure.”

“And—” Donna hesitated. “I’m glad you found her.”

The Doctor looked over at Rose, sitting on the jumpseat like she’d never left. “Me too.”

Donna nodded and disappeared down the hall with Lee. The Doctor let out a breath, sinking down to lean against the console, the weight of the past few hours coming to rest all at once. He looked over at Rose, still marvelling that he was able to do so at all.

“Rose Tyler—” was all he could get out before his throat closed up. He could only watch helplessly as she got to her feet and walked slowly towards him.

“Doctor, I’m home,” she said, like she was just coming to the realisation.

“Rose,” he whispered, reaching out for her.

Rose stepped closer, until his legs were bracketing hers. Of their own volition, his arms reached out to encircle her waist, as one of her hands fisted in his jacket.

“Welcome home,” the Doctor murmured. Rose bent her forehead towards his, licking her lips. The Doctor needed no further invitation. At the first touch of his lips on hers, Rose sucked in a breath, her free arm snaking around to grip his shoulders. In response, the Doctor slid one hand up her back, finding purchase in her hair.

They hadn’t communicated much telepathically since Rose had returned, preferring the physical speech which had been denied them while she’d been sealed in a parallel world, but with their lips locked together, Rose returned to their bond.

_God, I missed this, so much._

The Doctor groaned, nodding the slightest amount necessary not to dislodge his mouth from hers.

_Me too, love. If I’d known the Library would be swarming with Vashta Nerada, I would’ve gone anyway, if it meant getting you back._

Rose shivered. _I was so afraid for you_ , she said. The Doctor caught glimpses of her memories, moments before she’d jumped, his fear compounding her absolute desperation to reach him.

 _I’m so sorry, Rose._ The Doctor sucked on her bottom lip, and Rose shuddered for a very different reason.

Rose pulled away when she came up for air, placing her head on his shoulder. “Ever since River left you with Other Dave, I’d been trying to get the cannon up and running,” she said _,_ explaining why she’d been quiet for so long. “I know we agreed I wouldn’t jump when you were in danger but I just had to try.”

The Doctor ran his fingers through her silky locks. “And it worked. You came back to me.” _And saved my life_ , he added.

 _I want you safe._ Rose’s mental signature was tinged with gold. She lifted a hand to brush through the hair at his temple. _My Doctor._

 _Oh, Rose._ The Doctor used the hand in her hair to pull her closer and connect their lips once again. Rose opened easily to the Doctor’s tongue and pressed closer, revelling in her husband’s touch.

The Doctor resolved to give her more, slipping his hand at her waist under layers to find her bare skin. Rose sighed into his mouth, telegraphing her fervent desire for him to continue. The Doctor was about to do just that when a sudden discordant image intruded into their bond: the TARDIS, still sitting in the middle of the Library.

The Doctor pulled sheepishly away from Rose.

“Let’s head into the Vortex first, shall we?” His voice shook slightly as Rose adjusted her clothing. “Then we’ll have all the time we need.”

Rose nodded. After a cursory glance that all of the dials on the console were still at the correct settings, the Doctor threw the dematerialization lever, grabbing hold of Rose’s hand as he did so.

Her eyes fixed on the Time Rotor, delight suffusing her features. “I missed this, too,” she whispered, reaching out to lay her hand against it.

The Doctor couldn’t help it: he had to kiss her for that, drawing her into his arms, breathing her in. After three years apart, he couldn’t get enough tactile evidence that she was really there with him, not just a projection in his mind.

Rose made a low sound, clinging tightly. Her lips were soft and human-hot, and he drowned beneath them. He slanted his head, deepening the kiss, licking languidly into her mouth. The urgency he felt was simply to have more of them touching — there was a certain perverse delight in taking his time. There was no need to rush.

Rose, it appeared, disagreed; she lifted her hands to push at his shoulders. The Doctor let her guide him, walking backwards until his legs hit the jumpseat, and he sat heavily, half-pulling, half-steadying Rose as she climbed atop him.

“ _Rose,_ ” he groaned against her mouth.

She broke away with a gasp, pressing their foreheads together as she panted. “Wanted to do this for so long,” she muttered, playing with the knot of his tie before grasping it and pulling his lips back to hers.

Rose’s hands were everywhere: pushing his jacket down his arms, caressing his chest over his hearts, cupping his cheeks. When they migrated to his hair, nails raking his scalp, his hips stuttered helplessly.

“Mmm.” Rose hummed her approval, and the Doctor was prepared to let her have her way with him, except for one thing, the most important thing.

He returned the favour, pushing Rose’s heavy jacket off her shoulders, until she was just in her pink tank top. He let his hands roam over her back, sliding under the thin fabric and dipping low beneath her waistband. Rose rocked against him and he gripped her hips. Before he allowed himself to get swept away in the sensation of making love to his wife after so long apart, he rested a hand on her shoulder, stilling her ministrations, and carded the other into her hair.

“Rose Tyler,” he said, physically forming the words for the first time since they’d been separated. “I love you.”

Tears started in Rose’s eyes, and she smiled through them. “I love you too,” she said, before throwing her arms around him. _My Doctor. My husband._ The words rang over the bond. _Forever._

With that, the Doctor decided they’d been waiting long enough. He rose easily to his feet, still holding his wife in his arms. She giggled next to his ear, and he carried her to their bedroom, where they continued the celebration of their reunion where they’d left off.

*

The next day, they took Lee to his home planet in the fifty-first century. The group stuck together for a while as Lee pointed out landmarks he still recognised from a hundred years earlier. An understandable melancholy settled over him, however, as he saw how much had changed. Eventually, he broke off, wanting to look at where his home had once been. Donna went with him, and the Doctor looked after them with a small smile as they walked away, hand in hand.

“D’you think he’s going to want to stay?” Rose’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“I hadn’t thought about it,” the Doctor answered truthfully.

“It’s not like you can just pop up after a hundred years and expect your old life back,” Rose said, to an unexpected wave of guilt from the Doctor. She pulled them to a stop. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Your missing year,” the Doctor said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

Rose frowned. “What about it?”

“It made it so you couldn’t go back to your old life,” the Doctor explained.

“And you feel guilty because you think it’s your fault,” Rose concluded, taking the Doctor’s hands and smiling.

“Welllll… it _might_ have been the TARDIS,” the Doctor hedged, then squeaked when Rose got on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“Good. Daft man,” she said fondly, sinking back down. “Don’t want any other life than this, yeah? At least the TARDIS knew it.”

“Better with two,” the Doctor agreed. _Though now it seems we might have four_ , he mused, turning again to thoughts of Lee and Donna. That might be interesting. He hadn’t travelled with a couple since Barbara and Ian.

“I wonder what Lee’s going to think of Donna’s time,” Rose said aloud. “Fiftieth century to the twenty-first, that’s like… dropping us in Ancient Egypt or something.”

The Doctor winced. “Not quite — technological progress does plateau after a while, but culturally speaking…”

Rose nodded. “Well, that’ll be for them to decide, I suppose.”

The Doctor squeezed her hand, resolutely not thinking about the myriad companions who had elected to leave him for greener pastures elsewhen. How could he dwell on that, when he had his wife back by his side at long last?

“So!” Rose said, swinging their hands between them. “Fifty-first century. What’s there to do for fun?”

The Doctor adored her for how she was effortlessly able to direct his focus. “Well, let’s see…” He swiveled his head, noting all the places Lee had pointed out to them, and chose a random direction. “That way.”

Rose leaned against his shoulder, looking in the direction he was pointing. “That way?” she asked lightly.

“That way.” The Doctor beamed down at her, at the reminder of their Christmas adventure, loving her so much it ached. “Allons-y, Rose Tyler!” he exclaimed, and ran pell-mell down the street, pulling her along, uncaring of the strange looks they garnered from astonished onlookers. They were back to their old life, exploring an alien planet, and his joy couldn’t be contained.

For the rest of the day, they explored the way they did all alien planets they encountered (ones where they weren’t immediately dropped in the middle of a revolution, at any rate). They sampled local delicacies, browsed market stalls, and lingered to watch street performers. As they walked down the street hand in hand, it was like nothing had changed at all.

Rounding a corner, the sight of a large Ferris wheel commanded attention, as it rose into the sky atop a building.

“Oooh!” Rose bounced excitedly. “They still have Ferris wheels in the 51st century?”

The Doctor beamed down at her. “Ah, Rose Tyler, Ferris wheels never go out of style!” He caught an image in her mind of his previous self framed by the London Eye, and after that it wasn’t even a decision to go for a ride.

The building turned out to be some kind of multilevel shopping centre, and the view from the top of the wheel was truly something, with a commanding perspective of the city spread out below them.

Not that Rose and the Doctor took in much of it. They were too busy snogging.

They didn’t stop until a pointedly cleared throat alerted them to the fact that they were back at the bottom, holding up the line.

“Did you want to go again?” the attendant asked dryly.

Blushing fiercely, but with heads held high, Rose and the Doctor shook their heads and piled out. They managed to keep it together until they were out of sight, and then they both doubled over laughing. They laughed until the Doctor thought his hearts would burst with joy, the kind of laugh he’d never had since they’d been separated.

They were laughing so hard, the ring of a mobile almost went unnoticed. Wiping her streaming eyes, Rose pulled it out.

“Yeah, Donna?” Rose hiccuped.

 _“So glad you’re enjoying yourselves.”_ Even through the speaker, the Doctor could tell that Donna hadn’t achieved the acerbic tone she’d been aiming for. _“If you’re done canoodling, Lee and I are ready to get picked up.”_

* * *

Donna wasn’t even pretending to be annoyed by the time the Doctor and Rose arrived. She’d moved on to bigger problems.

“I want to go home for a bit,” she said. “I need to see Gramps. And, uh…” she looked at Lee, whose expression was nervous, but determined. “...explain some things.”

Rose wished her luck wholeheartedly. She wasn’t sure which was worse — explaining to your family that your boyfriend was from the future, or that you were “marrying that barmy alien in his blue box.” The Doctor snorted in her head at her impression of Jackie.

“And,” Donna continued with a sly look, “I bet you two could use some time to yourselves.”

So Donna and Lee departed for the time being, with the promise (the Doctor called it a _threat_ ) that they had Rose on speed dial.

Rose and the Doctor didn't leave the TARDIS for a week, making up for lost time.

But eventually, they had to make planetfall, selecting places and times that were most meaningful for them: Barcelona, the apple grass on New Earth, Woman Wept. By mutual agreement, they revisited the planet with the flying stingrays where Rose had first promised the Doctor forever, and renewed their wedding vows. After three years, they had accumulated all kinds of fantasies, large and small, which they fulfilled with relish. Most days Rose felt like she was floating rather than walking.

Even the mystery of the stars going out couldn't stop them for long, as they discovered when a routine visit to pick up Donna and Lee from Earth went pear-shaped. With help from all of their friends, as well as Bad Wolf, they put paid to Davros’ reality bomb. But Bad Wolf wasn’t the only surprise Time had in store for them. Her family had made the decision to jump back, too, which was how Rose found herself held tightly in her mother’s arms as they flew the TARDIS back through a lingering crack to pick up Pete and Tony. Rose looked at the Doctor over Jackie’s shoulder and wondered what she’d done to deserve to be this happy. She didn’t have to give anything up. The Doctor smiled at her, his warm brown eyes holding hers as she basked in the contentment radiating over the bond.

They had, as Sarah Jane said later, the biggest family in the world. And the future was going to be fantastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look forward to an epilogue next week, to explain the unexplained and tie up certain loose ends.


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this clears up the rest of the questions that people have.

“Doctor?”

Rose found him in the TARDIS library, in one of the overstuffed armchairs by the fire. He didn’t look up as she approached, and she saw he was staring at the blue journal in his lap.

“You read it?” she asked quietly. His thoughts swirled in conflicted agitation along his side of the bond.

“Yeah,” he said at length, leaning back and grimacing.

“What does it say?” Rose ventured, curious but knowing not to push.

The Doctor sighed and moved the journal, which Rose took as a cue to slip into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her.

“Where to begin? Well, she wasn’t just a companion. Her parents travelled with me, and she must have been conceived inside the TARDIS.”

Rose frowned. “Would that make a difference?” she asked.

“I’ve told you that the background radiation you pick up from travelling through the Vortex is harmless. That’s absolutely true. The only reason you have the enhanced biology that you do is because you stared directly into the Heart of the TARDIS, which connected you directly to the Vortex.” He gently brushed her hair back from her face, remembering her cheeks streaked with gold tears. “It replicated the Time Lord initiation of looking into the Untempered Schism.”

Rose nodded, looking thoughtful. “River didn’t—?”

“I don’t think so,” the Doctor said. He’d had to read between the lines quite a bit. Most of the information in the diary chronicled River’s adventures and research and treated the minutiae of her life as a matter of course. “And, really, the mere act of being conceived in the Vortex, even by two time traveller parents, should not have had the effect it did. But it seems that it bestowed on her some qualities of a Time Lady, including an understanding of temporal mechanics. And the ability to regenerate.”

Rose gave him a sharp look. The question of whether or not she herself would be able to regenerate was still undecided, and neither of them were very keen to test it out. “So if she could… then why didn’t she?”

The Doctor’s grip tightened on Rose. “Because she gave all her residual regeneration energy to me,” he said tightly. “The other version of me. She kissed me wearing lipstick laced with Judas Tree poison. Destroys the ability to regenerate.”

Rose nestled closer to the Doctor’s side, placing an involuntary kiss behind his ear at the thought of losing him. A moment later she twisted her head up to look at him, brows furrowing. “Why would she take away your ability to regenerate and then give you her regeneration energy?”

The Doctor let out a short breath. “What she said about not having a childhood. Her mother was kidnapped at some point and replaced by an identical duplicate, so that Melody could be stolen away at the moment of her birth. She was taken by this Madame Kovarian, who raised her into an assassin, programmed to kill me.”

Rose stared at him in stark astonishment. “ _Why_?” she asked.

“You know, that part wasn’t really clear.” He shook his head. “At any rate, apparently her programming broke long enough for her to reverse the process with her regeneration energy. I took her to the best hospital in the universe, and left her there with the journal.”

“Just… left her?” Rose couldn’t help asking. The Doctor stared into the fire. That decision was weighing heavily on him, despite it not being his own.

“I know,” he said. “At that point, I — that version of me — didn’t know who her parents were. All I knew was that I’d met her at the Library, and that we had an out of order relationship.” The play of the firelight on his face threw the lines on it into stark contrast. “My hands were tied. If I took her along it might jeopardise what I already knew to be true.” He cast his eyes over to her, and the spell was broken. “Not to mention, she _had_ just tried to kill me, and fairly permanently too.”

Rose rested her head against the Doctor’s, trying to process what he’d said. It all seemed terribly complicated, and hearing about it second and third hand just made it even more so. What this alternate Doctor had done about River was, ultimately, not the point.

“So how did she get mixed up with us?” Rose attempted to get them back on track. “If she called you, she couldn’t have been from another universe, could she? One where we never…” She couldn’t finish.

The Doctor shook his head. “Very unlikely,” he said. “It’s not impossible that the psychic paper could traverse universes but if she’d sent it to me from another universe she would’ve had to travel to ours to meet me. And even with the fabric of reality pocking like swiss cheese it still took you an amount of effort to cross over, no? River or I couldn’t have done it accidentally.”

He tapped his fingers against her hip, thinking. “It’s muddled,” he said at last. He cast about for a decent explanation. “You remember Pompeii?”

Rose wasn’t likely to forget how much she’d wished to be able to be there for the Doctor during that experience; she nodded once. The Doctor kissed her softly before continuing.

“The explosion was so powerful that it opened a rift in time, giving the soothsayers visions of a timeline where the Pyroviles succeeded. From what I can tell, there was a similar explosion in River’s timeline. They needed to reboot the universe. There were alternate timelines cropping up all over the place.”

Rose’s eyebrows lifted, but she said nothing. These were the kind of explanations you learned to just accept when you ran with the Doctor.

“I _think_ ,” the Doctor said, sounding very uncharacteristically tentative, “I think that the combination of the two — the reboot, and the cracks in time from the Reality Bomb, coincided. Timelines converged: one where we were together, and one where we weren’t. Like an overlay.”

Rose didn’t like to think about a timeline where they weren’t together. She cast about for a different topic. “So I suppose that’s why she didn’t vanish when we changed the future. Because she was a time traveller.” The Doctor nodded. “What about…?”

“My name?” The Doctor kept her from having to say the words. “I don’t know what that was. She certainly seemed to think she’d said something more significant than what she did. But the idea of my having deceived someone like that doesn’t sit right. Even if it was an alternate version of myself.” He grimaced. “I can only imagine how I might have reacted if she’d really whispered my name in my ear. The fact that she would use _that_ , of all things, to prove herself trustworthy, after how she’d behaved up to that point…”

Rose ran her fingers through his hair. He didn’t have to explain how cornered that had made him feel. “She ensured you would tell her by telling you that you’d already told her,” she said.

The Doctor shook himself. His feeling of betrayal was easy to pick up on. Rose thought she could understand. By removing his choice in such a way, River had proved herself unworthy of that trust, no matter how close they’d become in the future.

“I don’t know which version of myself River knew,” the Doctor continued, the slightest hint of the Oncoming Storm in his voice. “Obviously it wasn’t this body. But whoever I was in the future made a lot of decisions I wouldn’t have. He’d had a lot of time to think about that moment. To think of a way around the causality.”

They were both silent for a moment. The fact that the future Doctor had felt that he’d needed to take such an action was telling.

 _Doctor_. Rose’s choice was deliberate, and the Doctor shivered again, this time for a different reason. _The name you chose is the one that matters. We’re together now. I love you._

 _Rose Tyler._ The Doctor turned his head to kiss her. _Forever._

* * *

Not too far away, in Leadworth, 2010, Amy Pond (formerly Amelia) lived with her fiance Rory Williams. There was a crack in the wall of her old childhood bedroom that she occasionally thought she heard voices from, but since she never went in there any more she decided not to worry about it. There was also a hidden room in her house that no one could see.

When the strange blue box arrived, carrying an even stranger couple, Amy didn’t know what to make of them. She didn’t know if she believed what they were saying about a crack in time and space. All she knew was that she had never met a couple so obviously, deeply in love. They’d been married for four years, they said. Amy was due to be married the following week, but she couldn’t decide if she felt the same way about Rory. By the time the Doctor and Rose had found Prisoner Zero and banished the Atraxi from Earth, Amy had come to one decision: she’d decided she wanted to travel with them for the rest of her life.

(Of course, she _did_ feel the same way about Rory, though it took a bit of a nudge and some vampires in Venice to figure that out. Amy married Rory, and the two of them were regular companions on the TARDIS until their daughter, Melody, was born.)

Rose and the Doctor still came round to visit; prompted, Amy thought, by Rose. And every now and then, there were magical days when the wind stood fair, and the Doctor came to call (and Rory’s dad was able to look after Melody).

He would land on their front stoop with a wink and a grin, and as Rose looked on with amused fondness, at a snap of his fingers, the TARDIS doors flew open.

Next stop: _everywhere._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Melody Pond lived a long and happy life, with parents who loved her. The end.
> 
> Regarding the Doctor's name: I noticed at the time that we never actually SEE the Doctor revealing it to River. When he whispers in her ear during the Wedding of River Song it's to tell her that he's actually in the Tesselecta. And then the Husbands of River Song ends without the Doctor having told her. I guess we're supposed to assume that he reveals it at some point during the twenty-four years on Darillium, but given that we never actually see it on screen I decided that gave me a little bit of leeway. Otherwise I would've been backed into a corner with a River that knew the Doctor's name (and was therefore his wife) while Rose was already his wife.
> 
> Thank you so much everyone for reading! Thank you again to Saecookie for the beta, and thank you to all who left kudos and reviews! It's felt good to post something again. See you around!


End file.
